I know I needed this surgery to save my life, but I still hate it.
I’m in so much pain. The pills and patches aren’t helping; the only thing that brings even a little bit of relief is the IV pain medications, but I obviously can’t go home with those. I miss my son so much and I want to be with him so bad, but I’m absolutely terrified of the pain I’m going to be in when I go home tomorrow. I don’t like the ostomy or the catheter, and I especially don’t like the gaping hole in my abdomen, but it’s the fear of pain that’s the worst.
So, yeah. There’s not going to be any sleep tonight.